Never did get off the ground

No sooner than I was told I could start my 3rd IVF attempt it was shot down. I went in for my CD3 blood work and it came back worse than I ever could imagine. My FSH was 16! That basically means my body won't produce eggs even if stimulated with super high doses of meds. My E2 was in the normal range at 50, but my RE likes it below 50. My LH was 16 as well. The result....stay on BCPs 2 more months and call when my period arrives sometime around mid-late May. Of course, I got this news on the same day about $8,000 of IVF meds arrived at my house. They will sit in the closet and my fridge for the next 2 months.

What a blow.

So....I am still on BCPs.

And we don't know what will happen after 2 months. My levels may go down to normal or they may not. And I am not getting any younger. Tick tock.

My DH is still optimistic and supportive. I have all but given up.

We went to St. Louis this past weekend to visit some friends. We both needed a weekend away. One of my friends is about 7W pg after her first IVF cycle. Another friend has chosen to adopt from China. It was nice to see both of them and we had a lot of fun.

Tom and I talked on our 5 hour car drive. I think we have decided to at least start pursuing adoption more seriously and hopefully we can find an agency who will let us work with them while still pursuing IVF. At least we won't do nothing for the next 2 months.

I wish I had more to say, but I don't.

My weight loss efforts went out the window last week, but I am back on track today.

I am still taking a gazillion pills a day - this supplement will do this and that supplement will do that.

Even with all of this, I feel like it is doing absolutely nothing.

I guess if there wasn't a shred of hope I wouldn't even do this.