On the Adoption Front

The more information I get the more confusing things become. I must have made 30 phone calls this week seeking out information on various kinds of adoption. T and I are up in the air whether to go with Domestic adoption or International adoption. There are pros and cons with both.

I really thought we were leaning towards international adoption from Guatemala or China when a package of information arrived on Friday. This package described the "agency" as not really being an adoption agency at all. It is known as a facilitator in the adoption world. In a nitshell, a facilitator charges a fee for advertising. Advertising what? Advertising YOU to a birth mother (BM). You still have to work with a licensed agency (in this case LCFS - Luthern Child and Family Services), but this press packet as I call it states very clearly that all people who have used their services HAVE gotten a placement. That is some pretty strong evidence to support a decision to adopt domestically and erases my biggest fear - that a BM will not select my DH and I for a list of reasons I can create in my head a mile long.

So, we are still in the research phase. I still have calls to make, questions to ask, and documents to get ready so the Home Study process goes more smoothly and we are not scrambling for the official documents we need.

On the work front

Work continues to very busy. We are over 1 month behind our deadlines in order to get the tax return done by May 31. My boss is aware of it. Our Corporate Tax Department is aware and it looks like we may have to abandon ship on the training of my 2 new staffers in order to get it done. It rests all on me since I am the only one who knows how to do this stuff - talk about job security. Of course, that will also mean weekend work for the next couple of months. And to top that off, we close our books every quarter and that will keep me hostage for the next two weeks. It never stops.

On the home front

Home has always been great. I have a wonderful and loving DH. He is great with our DS. However, our DS decided to boycott evening sleep for the past 2 nights. He is getting a cold and it is tough for him to breathe. Last night was especially bad. He went to sleep at 8PM. And woke up at 1:30AM ready for play. I stayed up with him for about 2 1/2 hours. I couldn't keep my eyes open and got my DH up to take the next 2 hour shift. 2 hours later, my DH puts my DS in the car to get him to sleep. Both are still sleeping now. That is going to mess up the day, but what are you going to do?

On the TTC front

I can't really believe I am listing this last. I guess it does fall to the back burner when you are on BCP and you don't know what will come of having a child on your own with or without medical assistance. I went to acupuncture yesterday. The acupuncturist says I should be able to get pg without a problem. It sounds to her like my ovaries are just being lazy. She can help with that. OK. I am ready to buy into anything at this point. She told me to get the book Infertility Cure. It talks about Chinese acupuncture and herbs for fertility. She wants me to read it and then we will talk about herbs she can give me to help. She thinks she can get my body in balance. I felt very relaxed after the appointment. Of course, I was tired anyway from the lack of sleep from Friday night, but ok. I go back in 1 week. I even have little needles in my left ear as I type. You can see them and they are attached to flesh colored tape.

On the dream front

Very rarely do I remember my dreams. I have had 2 dreams in the past 2 nights I remember very clearly. Both had to do with having children myself (as in getting pg and delivering) vs. adopting. In both, I remember my Dr saying you will never get pg and you should adopt. Maybe this is a sign of sorts telling me to forget this IVF thing. I don't know. I don't think I really have to make that decision yet although I am certainly not getting my hopes up about cycling again. My DH and I want another child. We don't care how. For 2 loving, caring, financially stable, and everyting else you would want in a parent....it just shouldn't be this hard.