A lot can happen in a week

I have no idea where to begin. I have no idea whether or not to go into great detail or just skim the surface.

What the fuck....here goes....my life, the soap opera.

I have been estranged from my father for 11 years. When I moved from my home state, I choose not to have contact with him. The reasons don't matter now other than it was a way for me to protect myself by not having contact. I stayed in contact with my paternal grandparents and with the other family I have in my home state. For 11 years, everyone knew I was not in contact with him. In fact, over time, both my sister and my aunt (my father's sister) ceased contact with him.

My sister calls me last Thursday afternoon at work. She had received a phone call from her husband telling her that my father was outside their house. My sister hadn't spoken nor seen my father in 9 years. She asked me what to do. I told her to call the cops. She didn't listen and left work immediately to go home. To make a very long story short, my father and sister talked into the wee hours of the night. He didn't have a job, didn't have any money, and my grandparents FINALLY told him they would not help him either. He had no where to go other than to my sister in hopes she would help. She and my brother-in-law gave him enough money to stay in a cheap motel for a couple of nights. She even took last Friday off of work to help him fill out job applications.

My sister was trying to do "the right thing" once again even though we all did the right thing in the past and always got hurt. My grandparents did "the right thing" for 45 years helping him out in one way or another. At what point do you say you have had enough chances?

Well, the situation came to a halt (for now) when my sister received a call at 1:30AM last Saturday night (actually, Sunday in the wee hours of the morning). My father had been arrested. Our guess is he was sleeping in his car instead of using the money my sister gave him for the motel. A cop stopped to ask what he was doing and when his license plate and/or driver's license was run, there were warrants out for him.

My father asked my sister for bail money. She said no. He called back a 1/2 hour later. She said no again.

There are two charges - one is for some debt thing I didn't hear the guy say and the other is for writing bad checks. That was the "big" one with a $2,500 bail. So my father now sits in the county jail (the last I heard). I read the sentence can be $1,000 fine and/or up to one year in jail.

My father - liar, embezzler, and soon-to-be convict.

I forgave my father a long time ago for the emotional abuse he dished out. I forgave him for putting me in debt. I forgave him for everything he did because I know he is sick. You can forgive someone and not have contact though. It protected my family and me. Everyone tried to get him help. He did get help, but lied to everyone including those trying to help him.

In a funny and weird way, I hope this is the thing to make him realize he does need to change. People talk about hitting bottom - maybe this is his bottom.

And how many people do you know that can say I know someone who has done time in jail? Boy, that is something to be proud of. I can't help but wonder if/how this will affect our adoption and home study?

Speaking of adoption and home study, we received our home study packet in mail last Friday and our "Program" package in the mail Monday. T and I attended an informational meeting last Saturday which was very helpful. It confirmed our decision (once again) that we made the right choice in selecting Vietnam as our country. We met M, the director of our regional agency office, the Exec. Director of the agency who flew in from China, and one of the social workers who does the homestudies. The two hour informational meeting counts towards eight hours of adoption education T and I have to complete. We met another couple adopting from Vietnam as well who had just sent in their application. It was a good day.

T and I spent the week writing our autobiographies and organizing everything we would need. In my state, we have to get fingerprinted four times! We are also required to apply to become adopt only foster parents. Today, we are going to get the first set of fingerprints done for DCFS (Division of Family and Child Services). We will be getting electronic fingerprints done though an investigation agency. I also need to have my name changed on my passport. I hope to get the passport photos done today and take the application and $67 to the post office today.

Tomorrow, Mother's Day, we hope to go to our local police office to get set number two for FBI clearance. We will also ask our local police dept. for a letter stating T and I do not have a criminal record. There is a fee for the fingerprinting ($10 per person). I am sure there will be a fee for the letter as well.

I took my last BCP on Monday morning. AF FINALLY arrived this morning after a nice delay. While I am done with all this IF stuff, T wants me to get blood work (as previously discussed with the RE) just to put the nail in the coffin. That happens Monday.

We hope to send out our contract to the adoption agency home office on Monday or Tuesday($300). We are also planning to send out our home study application, autobiographies, references, and application for DCFS to our regional office on Monday or Tuesday as well ($1,550).

If we can get our FBI fingerprints done this weekend, that application and $38 fee plus overnight shipping will go out Monday or Tuesday also.

Once all those things are done, we will fill out another form that goes to the CIS (immigration). I will deliver that form in person to our immigration office since it is one block from where I work. The form plus $545 and another $140 for fingerprinting is due when you submit the application. This allows us to get a Visa in advance for our adopted child to be and allow us to bring him into the country.

Whew! Lots to do!

And that brings me to the last of a long update. I have three huge deadlines at work. I have been working 10-12 hours days to get it done. The first deadline is this week. I think I will make that deadline. The next is at the end of the month. The last is June 15. I am tired and burned out. I honestly don't know how I found time to write an autobiography and get this adoption stuff done. I guess when things matter so much to you, you make time for them.

If I can meet the deadlines at work and feel I am in a good place adoption-wise, T and I are planning a "vacation" for the end of June. We hope to take the last week off in June to piggy back off of July 4th weekend. We think we may go to the east coast to visit our family, but who knows. Maybe we will take a long weekend to get away ourselves and a shorter trip to visit family. That can be up in the air right now. I have enough on my mind.