And to top off the crappy week...
I got a phone call from JT's speech therapist on my way home from work today. She brought up some concerns and asked me some questions. It was a good conversation for the most part...JT has made great progress in his speech.
She is concerned that he is lacking "social communication". Basically, he doesn't initiate conversation and doesn't express things to others. Most of his specch is driven by someone prompting him. Although he was evaluated for sensory issues and that came out fine, his therapist* eluded to the "A" word - autism. She mentioned there are many kinds and degrees of autism and maybe it would be in our best interest to have him evaluated by a medical group "just to make sure" it isn't autism.
This evaluation can take months to set up so I told her to go ahead and get the ball rolling. I would rather be on a waiting list for an evaluation and cancel the appt. vs. not getting on a waiting list.
JT's developmental therapist does not feel there is any issue and not to worry.
I am too depressed right now to even argue or fight. Whatever you say is fine with me. I love my son and would anything for him and if he does have a more serious problem other than a delay in speech, then I want to get him the help he needs.
Maybe it is good I can't have more biological children. Who would want my lousy genes anyway?
I just want to know why.....why me? And I want this voice in my head to stop saying god doesn't give you what you can't handle. I've been hearing it far too long and think god is off his rocker. But don't get me into a discussion about god. It could get ugly.
And this, my friends, is the topper to my week.
*the rapist....ever split the word out....The Rapist.....
posted by RollerCoaster @ 7:03 PM
5 Comments:
I am not particularly fond of that "God won't give you more than you can handle" thing ... it's a twisted version of a scripture that's really about being tempted to sin, not about having stress or hard things to deal with.
I'm sorry about this thing with JT, but maybe it's good his therapist is on top of it... my nephew has autism and he has made amazing progress since he was diagnosed and they started really working with him. But it sounds like JT isn't as severe as my nephew, so maybe it's just a speech delay - and the evaluation will give you peace of mind about it?
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know why people feel inclined to share the worse case senario with you and then leave you pissed off, wondering what to do, and confused. I hope this gets cleared up and they can actaully give you some helpful information instead of leaving you with this to mull over for the weekend.
((((Nina)))) I'm sorry the therapist has dumped this on you right as the weekend is starting.
I really hope that the appointment is not needed and it turns out to just be due to his ear problems from last year.
Hope you find a dress quickly and can enjoy the rest of the weekend!
Many, many ((hugs))
"the rapist" Eeek! and LOL! Oh my, I've never thought of that before. I guess that's why I want to be a "counselor"! ;P
Why me...I don't think any of us can answer that. And I think it's something we've all asked outselves at one point or another. I know I have and I haven't figured out a good answer to that question so far.
I do think that when there aren't any good answers as to what is going on in our lives, we need something/someone to blame and the why me question leads us to think about some of the negative things that we have done and that have happened in our lives. Then we have someone to blame - ourselves.
IMO, the why me question just ends up making me (us) feel like the sludge of the earth. And that is entirely not the case - we are not the sludge. We are the women who may have fallen in the sludge, but we pick ourselves up and walk tall and proud right out of it.
I think you've got a lot going on right now and that everything seems to be collapsing inward on you. I've been there. I know the depression... And blaming yourself by saying you have lousy genes is not the answer. You know it's not true, even though you may not want to admit it right now.
So come on! Get up! Here's my sludge covered hand to help. Let's walk together right out of this crap!
More ((hugs)) headed your way. I know that somehow, someway everything will work out. It just may not seem like it right now.
Oh Nina, I'm so sorry. I know how you are feeling right now. We have a child who is on the spectrum and it is a hard place to be as the parent. If you'd like to talk more about it, your concerns, my experiences, etc feel free to contact me offline at nicki@spectrumpctech.com
(((hugs)))
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