Dilemma and Need Input
I heard back from the agency I called last week. It is a reputable agency. The person I spoke with even spoke highly of my current agency and said it isn't their fault the wait list is so long. I happen to agree.
Here is the deal...our current estimated wait is 8 months for a boy and 18-24 months for a girl.
If we change to the new agency, I will not need to have the home study updated. I need a release signed by my current agency and I have to send a copy of my I-171H to the new agency. I am being told the wait for a boy is about ONE month.
Now...I don't want my excitement to cloud my judgment. I would love input (both positive and negative) because I am ready to switch.
Our dossier fee is due within the next week to our current agency. We have not started on our dossier yet. The only amount we paid in advance is the post placement fee of $750. I believe we can get that back as well since the post placement visits have not been done.
This is a tough decision because both T and I very much like our agency. They have been awesome so far, but the wait time is not what we originally signed up for!
posted by RollerCoaster @ 1:13 PM
15 Comments:
A month??? WOW!!! I think whatever you need to do to get your new son home . . .DO IT!!
I have no experience in this (yet) so I'm coming to you as a friend who wants you to have another baby regardless, I'm sure there are those who know how this all works who will have wonderful words of wisdom for you. So don't listen to me if I'm the only one saying go for it!!!
Now, where is that yarn???? =)
I don't have any advice to offer, but do want to wish you the best of luck in your decision
I switched agencies from the one that you are with as well due to the long wait time. It was no big deal at all. I had already paid the post placement fees as well, but the local branch office is still going to do our post placement reports, so I did not get that refunded. It was a hard and stressful situation for me, but in the end, it just did not make sense to me to have to wait 18-24 months when there are children available now that need homes. So, we switched. We got our referral about three months later, and I am so happy that we did make the change. I loved our previous agency. They are awesome and still are, which is why their wait is so long. I was simply too impatient to wait that long. Good luck with your decision. Go with what feels right to you.
Having never switched agencies (or even chosen a first agency), I have very little advice based on experience...but when has that ever stopped me before?
I would see if you could talk to any families who have been with the new agency and see what their opinions have been. Did they really have such a short wait? Was their experience in-country good or were there many issues that wouldn't have existed with your current agency?
If it all sounds good, I would switch. It's hard to know that you might be hurting someone's feelings at your agency but you have to do what's best for your family. And which is better, a 1-month wait or an 8-month wait? For some families, the 8-month might be better--but from what you've said, there's no reason that you would want to wait that long.
I hope you're able to make a decision quickly!
Wow! Tough call. I understand your anxiety about the wait. I think I would be feeling the same way.
No real advice here, simply because I'm pretty clueless about such things. If I know you as well as I think I do, you have done all your "homework" and will make the most informed decision you can. I wish you and T the best of luck whatever decision you make (which you know of course;-) )
I think if you are honest with your current agency and tell them why you want to switch they will understand.
Go with your gut feeling.
Best of luck to you in your decision.
They key for me in your entry is that you said you are excited and that you are ready to switch.
If that's the case and you are ready not only to switch, but for a new addition so soon, I say go for it!!!!!
Regardless of what decision you do end up making, I wish you the best, as always. :)
Do it! There are babies all over Vietnam that need families and your current agency only works in so many orphanages. They are fabulous but there are other fabulous agencies as well and your son may be waiting for you there!
We changed agencies and it was the best decision we could have made. We are now waiting for our referral(the agency is saying 2 to 3 weeks) and we are confidant that this was the right choice for us. Search your heart and I know it will lead you in the right direction.
Stephanie
Maybe you received a call from the other agency because they may be the ones to lead you to your boy, or your boy to you?
You could try doing what my husband and I did when were were deciding about adoption, wake up one morning and before either of you says anything write down on a piece of paper your gut feeling about switching agencies, if they are the same I say go for it and don't look back!
Obviously I have no advice but my first thought was OMG switch now!
I know I know absolutely nothing about this but I wonder why some agencies have longer waits. ((HUGS)) to you and good luck on your decision...I know you will make the right one!
Be careful, do your research. A quick timeline isn't always the best. ALL of the ethical agencies seem to be quoting pretty long timelines for girls right now (boys too, although shorter than the girl timelines)
I have no idea whats best, I think it just takes a lot of thought on your part and prayer! Watch for signs and see what happens. Good luck though!!!!
girlfriend, if you are that excited and ready to switch, then it sounds like the decision is allready made! If you have done your homework on this new agency and have not had any red flags pop up, and if their reputation is good and you have a good feeling about them...well, shoot, its just a matter of choosing between two good agencies, isn't it? How can that go wrong?
I switched from an agency I loved to another agency that is very reputable and because they are in different provinces and didn't have paper ready waiting families, and we were paper ready, we had a month wait for our babies.
It was nerve racking and you need to be prepared to scramble. We had to get alot of paperwork done and done quickly but in the end it was totally worth it. We did loose money. And our expenses went up but we got our referral for our girls and couldn't be happier with our decision.
If you are mentally ready to switch then go for it.
You'll make the right decision, I know you will! I agree with the others, if you've done your research and the new agancy is as great as the old one, switch!
((((HUGS)))) & GL!
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