I Don't Want a Belly.....or do I?

The weather is warming up. More and more people are venturing outside without bulky sweaters or coats. It is a time when out of the blue you see more and more pregnant bellies. Where did all these women come from? Everywhere I turn, another belly is popping out. These women got pregnant during the winter and are proudly showing off their round bellies now that they don't have to wear layers upon layers to cover up.

I remember seeing all the bellies last year at this time. I would turn away. It upset me to see it. I had to fight back the tears. THEY could get pg and I could not. Every belly stabbed through me like a knife. And now I am one of them.....stabbing someone else.

I try to hide my slowly growing belly. I try to suck in my tummy. I even wore a jacket outside yesterday in 80* heat to help hide the bump. I don't want to show that I am pregnant in public. I don't want to hurt other people. You may find this ridiculous, but I know how much it hurt me and I don't want to do it to anyone else.

I am also excited inside that I am finally getting a little belly. Sure...most is fat at this point, but there is some baby belly there, too. I am feeling movement and realized how I longed to feel those kicks again. I want a belly in the privacy of my home and around people who I know won't get upset.

I know I can't have the best of both worlds. Believe me, if I could, I would.