3 months in a 100 words or less.....

ain't gonna happen! It is going to take me much more than 100 words to tell you about life in our casa...

I have no idea if anyone is still reading this blog or not. It doesn't really matter (not that I don't care about people who choose to read this blog) since I started this blog for me....to deal with our infertility and treatments and then our adoption and finally our pregnancy. This is going to be a long one...grab a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or your beverage of choice and relax. I welcome you to enjoy the ride once again!

This may be a little random. I have lots to tell and my mind is racing.

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A
Our little ray of sunshine, A, turned 3 months old on Christmas Day. I am still amazed at how fast these little ones grow and develop! I want time to stand still! A is almost a complete opposite of JT at the same age other than in looks. She was born with a full head of hair and it has only gotten longer! We will never make it to one year without a haircut! She hasn't lost any of her hair either! The first remark people make about her is how she resembles her brother and "look at that full head of hair"! She is much smaller than her brother was and is still wearing size 0-3 month clothes. JT was in 3-6 by the time he was 2 months old.

A smiles all the time and wakes up in a good mood. She has never shown any signs of colic and is content and happy while being held....ALL.THE.TIME! She is an (*knock on wood*) excellent sleeper and goes from about 8PM to 4-5AM and takes 2 very good naps during the day and cat naps the rest of the time. JT, on the other hand, had THE.WORST colic and didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 1/2 months old! The difference between them at the same age is night and day; both very special, but very different.

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JT

JT is a fantastic big brother! He tells other people, "Don't touch the baby!" even though we have never said that to him. We let him hold, touch, and "abuse" A at his free will - LOL! He likes to announce everything A does. A is crying. A is drinking milk. A is kicking. A is sleeping. A is a girl. A, look in the mirror.

It seems as though JT has grown up overnight. His developmental delays are still there, but some kind of switch went off and he has made tremendous progress in these past few months. His progress is so good that his private therapist told us he is no longer benefiting from private therapy. We ended his private sessions at the end of October and have not seen any regression. The only area we have not seen any progress is in potty training. At almost 4, he is nowhere close to being trained. That is ok. The Pediatrician tells us not to push as well as his pre-school teacher. Daycare is pressuring us, but I met with them and explained we will not push him because he is focusing on other areas at the moment. He will not walk down the aisle in diapers and he will do it when he is ready. He is still in the same room at daycare and this is causing a problem since most of the children are just about 3 in that room. JT is acting out a bit and the teacher in the room doesn't know what to do with him since he knows all of his letters, shapes, and colors, etc.

I explained to our daycare that the Americans with Disabilities Act clearly states that accommodations must be made for him. You see, DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services), the agency that oversees licensed daycare facilities, requires a "changing station" to be in rooms with children who are in diapers. The next room at daycare does not have a "station". However, because JT falls under the ADA, daycare cannot hold him back because of this and must accommodate his needs. Quite frankly, I am ok if they change him on a mat on the floor (which is what we do at home). Needless to say, daycare will be moving him up to the next room sometime in January/February as soon as there is an opening. Another fight won!

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Thanksgiving

We travelled to NJ/NY/PA with the kids for Thanksgiving. I have family and friends on the east coast. We flew. Yes, we flew during the busiest time with two young children. The dirty looks we got at the airport and on the plane were priceless. I am happy to report, we have two of the best little travellers in the world. BOTH of them behaved on the flight and those dirty looks turned into smiles at the end of the flight. JT sat quietly watching his portable DVD player (thank you technology) and A slept the entire time in my arms!

The visit with my grandparents was very nice. My grandfather is almost 98 and my grandmother just turned 91. It was wonderful to have them meet A and see how JT has grown up. My nephew is now 10 and so mature! I am sad to report I think his maturity is a direct result of being forced to grow up too soon. I feel he is over-scheduled with too many sports and other activities. His schoolwork does suffer and my sister blames it on his hyperactivity. She claims he is borderline ADD/ADHD (while never officially diagnosed). I am sure there may be a tendency for this, but I am not convinced some of this is due to how she and my BIL talk to him and let him do things on his own. My sister and brother-in-law are drinking too much and smoking too much pot. I can't tell you how close I was/am to calling child welfare services. If I knew they would instantly let my nephew live with us, I would. However, that means crossing state lines and then things get difficult. He IS being cared for; for the most part. I just worry about his emotional well being. It is hard to explain. I tried to talk to him about it, but I wasn't sure how much he realized or not and didn't want to bad mouth his mom and dad to him if he didn't think there was an issue. I left it that he has all of our contact numbers. If anything happens or he just wants to talk, he is to call me or T at anytime.

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Adoption and Alex

There isn't a day that does by where I am not thinking of Alex, the child we were supposed to adopt from Vietnam. His name is not Alex and he is with a very good home. The last I heard, he was significantly delayed and his mom was in the process of getting him caught up. I would be lying if I didn't say there is a little bit of relief on my part that the state wouldn't let us continue with the adoption. In hindsight, I don't know how we would do it. Sure, we would make it work, but I am a little relieved we don't have to. Alex deserves better and so does A. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I am learning to accept and deal with it the best I can.

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Lefty

I know you are dying to hear about Lefty. Lefty is Lefty and STILL giving me a hard time. I ended up being admitted into the hospital 3 weeks after A was born because Lefty decided to get infected very quickly. I felt it starting on a Sunday and by Wednesday I had a 5cm by 3cm abscess which required draining. I was admitted for IV antibiotics and stayed in the hospital for 3 days. I will say the hospital was very accommodating. I have been trying to breastfeed (BF) A and they put me on the Pediatric floor so she could be with me so I could feed her from Righty.

Lefty has been open since the middle of October and the plan was to let the infection calm down and get ready for a central duct removal surgery to be followed by reconstructive surgery once we know the surgery worked and I was done BFing. Well, Lefty acted up again over the Christmas weekend and the surgeon wants me to have surgery in the next week or two. I will tell you now that is won't happen that fast. I just got back to work from maternity leave and my busiest time of year is in January. I still have to talk to my boss and determine when I can get this done. It doesn't help that T's aunt just passed away last week after having a lump removed from her breast. Everyone feels she passed due to a post-op complication. It has T very worried about me. I know as long as Lefty is open and draining I am ok. I know I need the surgery, but I refuse to rush it.

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Breastfeeding

On the BFing front, Lefty has never lactated and I have been doing my best at BFing A from Righty only. She has been supplemented with formula since her birth and I am really only producing 2-4 oz. of breast milk (BM) per day for her, but every little bit helps. BFing has most certainly been a struggle from day 1. A wasn't a good latcher and it took me 10 days using nipple shields before I could get her to latch directly to me. Then we played a guessing game with how much supplement we needed since I wasn't able to produce enough. I went so far as to use a SNS* but A is smart and tried to suck on just the tube. I am now battling to get her to latch on period as the bottle is just faster and she likes her milk with as little effort as possible. I have spent the past 3 weeks almost exclusively pumping. I have fought and continue to fight to give A as much BM as possible. I have fought too hard to give up so easily although there are days where I wonder why the heck I am fighting so hard and doing all this for a lousy stinking ounce!

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Christmas

I started back at work exactly 12 weeks after I left. I swear this county really needs to evaluate leave for having a child (whether adopted or biological). 12 weeks is not long enough! I could have stayed out a couple of weeks more, but then I would have lost out on 4 paid holidays. Hey....why not get paid for not going to work! I came back to work at a pretty slow time so I do have a chance to adjust. It is tough leaving both kids at daycare even if they are getting very well cared for. Our Christmas weekend was very busy and hectic. We put over 800 miles on the car going to various family commitments. Seeing the extended family is always nice and for many, it was the first time they got to see A. T's siblings were in from NYC and a cousin was here from Australia! My extended family travelled from Texas and other areas of IL. It was hard seeing my extended family. It makes me miss my mom even more than I do this time of year. I have one Aunt who lost A LOT of weight. I had to do a double take because her eyes and face looked so much like my mom. I could swear mom was there and I was staring right at her. A comment was made about my mom and I started to bawl. I miss her so much. I so wish she could see how JT is growing up and see A. JT doesn't recognize her in pictures even though I tell him who she is. A likes a painting we have hanging in our family room - it was painted by my mom. People tell me my mom is watching over us - I hope that is true. I hope my mom gets to see what beautiful children we have and how happy T and I are. I still can't believe she isn't with us anymore. I can't believe come March she will have been gone for 3 years.

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Birthday Wishes

T just celebrated his 35th birthday yesterday which makes me......still 27! :) It was a quiet birthday but I have something very special planned for Saturday. I can't tell because T reads this blog. I gave him an amp and cord for Christmas and his birthday so he can finally get our his electric guitar and play it. He gave me a beautiful sapphire and diamond necklace - A's birthstone is Sapphire.

We are truly blessed. While life continues to be a roller coaster, we are quite lucky in so many respects. People tell us we have the perfect family - well, our family was prefect long before A came along. People assume we are done having children. I am not so sure about that. We have not ruled out adoption but need to pay off the money we invested (yes, invested) in A's adoption and save up if we were to go ahead with another adoption. We may get lucky again and get pregnant. Hey...you just never know!

I wish you and your family a wonderful 2008. May all your hopes and dreams come true.




* A SNS is a device that has tubes attached to a bottle with BM or formula. The tubes get taped to your breast. The child latches onto the breast and the tube goes in the baby's mouth. This way, the child latches to stimulate you and gets fed at the same time. It is a pain in the a**.